You Can't Save What Doesn't Want Saving
by Pixie-Tinks83
Summary: What happens when the one person you want to save the most doesn't want saving? Is the love of a stranger enough to spare you from the demons that eat away at your soul or do they end up destroying the only part of your life that makes you feel worthy? AH
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: This story deals with material that may not suitable for everyone. It contains coarse language, drug use, adult themes and a host of other things. I'd also like to point out that if you hold the idealist and innocent relationship between Edward and Bella in high regard this story isn't for you. You have been warned.**

**Kudos to Beckyboobearbum for encouraging me to put pen to paper and write this. Without her, it'd be bumping around in my head and bubbling at the surface. Missy, I just hope you're there to hold my hand along the way lol.**

**I don't own these characters, no infringement intention. I do, however, own the plot.**

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Being brought up as the daughter of the chief of police you'd of thought my choice of career would have been something law abiding. You'd of also thought I'd of been on the straight and narrow, an upstanding citizen, if you will. That just goes to show you exactly how much bullshit preconception, idealist views and pre-planned futures really are.

Standing at the fork in the imaginary road of my life, kicking at the dusty stones at my feet, I decided to go left when every motherfucking sign, arrow and voice was pointing and screaming for me to take the right. I'd followed the goddamn sign posts every day of my life for the last 21 years, and I was bored to fucking death of how monotonous my life had gotten. There is only so many times you can 'be a good girl' and 'do the right thing' before your brain may as well shrivel up like a sun ripened tomato and you ask to be plugged into the machine that sucks at life replacing it with something equally shit and unfulfilling. Least if they suck the life out of you they suck the emotion out of life too, with no emotion there is no pain, and I'd of given my left arm to have that taken away forever.

If one of those machines existed, I'd of asked years ago to participate. In fact, you'd of probably found me, lying on the wet floor in the pouring rain, on the steps outside of the building holding the tests, kicking my feet and causing a scene, begging for the chance to be their guinea pig. They'd of been warning me about the dangers, but you know, that'd of been cool, anything, and I mean _anything,_ would have been more exciting than what I called life. I wasn't living; I was just about existing, and come on, who wants that?

No, I didn't think so.

Personally, I think it was always inevitable that I was going to fall off the track; I'm just surprised it took as long as it did. After all, with parents like mine, I was never gonna be the one that everyone was jealous of, the one who women hated for being the lucky bitch with the perfect family and husband who doted on my every word.

A 'Stepford Wives' life just wasn't on my cards. Seriously, there was no way in hell I was gonna be sat at the kitchen table, waiting for some motherfucker to come home expecting to find me, dressed to the nines, immaculate hair and makeup, a smile on my face, his dinner on the table, the expectation of me waiting for him in our bed, whilst he lays his dirty fingers over my body, getting his jollies, as I lie there wishing that my life wasn't such a fucking joke. No chance.

FUCK THAT SHIT TO HELL.

My parents hadn't spoken in years, in fact, I'd put money on my father not speaking a word to my mother from the day she told him that she was pregnant, and unsure if I was his. Why they never did a paternity test is beyond me, he could have been rid of the pair of us, wiped his hands clean and gotten on with his life. When I think about it though, small town like Forks, that shit would have spread quicker than cold hard butter on steaming hot toast; no it was just kept between the three of us. Nice birthday present that was, overhearing an argument about me being a bastard child; and you wonder why I'm fucked up. There's your answer.

That was the day I stopped calling my parents mom and dad, that's was the day they became Renee and Charlie, that was also the day I decided that I didn't need anyone in my life other than myself, what's the point of depending on other people when they just let you the fuck down, just asking for heartbreak, and I can do without that shit; unnecessary pain, I have enough of that without having to bring it on myself for no reason.

All that being said I'm guessing that my warped views on how my life should have panned out were what helped me make the choices on how things really did play out for the future. Refusing to become one of them, you know, the pretty, I've got the whole of the moon on a fucking stick, providing I sit up and beg like a dog when barked at, I decided that I'd make money by doing what would be expected from me for free. I also decided that I'd do all that whilst smacked outta my tits on the cheapest drugs I could lay my hands on. That way, not only would I get paid for something that should be essentially free, I'd be doing it flying higher than the clouds in the dark dreary sky above.

Yeah that's right. Not only was I a drug addict, I was also the local whore.

_Pleased to meet you. _

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**I'm guessing that you weren't put off by the authors notes at the top if you've got this far, thank you for giving this a chance.**

**Please take the time to let me know what you think, constructive criticism is always welcomed. Oh and if you think this is your kinda thing and you're a beta looking for a new story, let me know, I'm on the look out.**

**Much love until next time**

**Pixie Tinks x**


	2. Living on the streets

**Disclaimer: This story deals with material that may not suitable for everyone. It contains coarse language, drug use, adult themes and a host of other things. I'd also like to point out that if you hold the idealist and innocent relationship between Edward and Bella in high regard this story isn't for you. You have been warned.**

**I do not own Twilight... I do however own the plot...**

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_***Edward***_

_The Golden Arches..._

Whoever thought of that marketing ploy obviously knew what they were talking about, to me they may as well be made of gold, because I only get to go in there on the odd occasion; usually when some kind person throws me a couple of spare coins out of their pocket. To me, a cup of coffee from here is like winning the lottery; today happens to be like one of those days.

A tall blonde guy, all arms and legs and well set in physique dug deep into his pockets and handed me over all the change that he seemed to get in that one handful. It was like all my Christmas', birthdays and every other day that the average person in the world would be grateful for had come at once.

"Happy Holidays." He said, handing me the change as we exchanged a soft smile, all the while, the dark haired petite lady hanging on his arm.

"Oh baby, that's so nice of you." She chimed.

"It's nothing Darlin'. Least I can do. It's the season of goodwill, and I swear the poor guy could do with it." I heard him reply as they walked off into the distance.

That's how I found myself here, basking in the heat that emulated from behind the heavy doors. Pulling them open and walking inside, I ignored the looks of disgust at my presence, after all, I'm not in the best of shape and my clothes had clearly seen better days, small narrow minded people were the least of my concerns, right then, all I could think about was the hot thick mud like liquid that would be sliding down my cold parched throat. I'd savour every minute of its warmth and comfort because who knew when I'd have the chance to experience that luxury again.

Taking a seat in the farthest corner, I counted out the change before I watched the world go by in a blur of color. The fall into winter crossover was my favourite part of the year, mainly because the depth of everything, the reddy brown of the leaves that had fallen from the trees, the heaviness of the air, the heady scent of earth; how can you not enjoy life when all this is going on around you before your eyes.

Most people, I guess, don't notice this though, far too busy rushing about to appreciate what is actually going on around them. Saying that, it's not like I had a bunch of stuff to keep me busy, there is only so much you can do when you don't have a job to go to, or a home to call your own. The only deadline I had was to be standing in line at shelter in time to get my bed for the night and a hot meal. You gotta get there for 3pm sharp if you were gonna be far enough forward in the queue to get a place. I'd learnt fairly quickly what to expect if you didn't make it in time. Sleeping rough in a doorway was not as bad as you'd think it'd be. It was worse; especially during winter. Many a homeless man had lost his life to the bitterness of winter.

I made sure, with every fiber in my body that I was standing in that queue at 3pm sharp, the small bag that held my worldly possessions, grasped in my arms, in front of my body, because shit was known to go walkabouts whilst you waited. I'd seen the lesser man riffle through another guys' things, taking anything of value whilst the victim stood there, unbeknown that he'd just been robbed. I should have said something, but in this world, it's dog eat dog and I'd of rather have kept myself to myself, that way I wasn't known as the grass, and I didn't become subjected to a beating the next time I crossed paths with the thief.

"Erm, buddy, you've been nursing that coffee for three hours, buy something else or you're gonna have to leave man." The spotty faced youth mumbled at me, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Of course." I replied, getting to my feet and shuffling towards the bin, trying to make the most of the heat before being greeted with the harsh cold outside.

Reaching the bin, I threw the cup away and took a handful of napkins. I may have been homeless but even I had hygiene standards. You try using public toilets as your main facilities. You can't always guarantee that they're gonna be stocked with everyday essential items like toilet paper. I also grabbed as many sweeteners and sugar sachets as I could physically manage without causing too much of a scene. It really is amazing how much of a pick me up a sachet of sugar can be if you have to go without a meal for a day.

A group of young girls were walking towards the bin as I stashed the sugar in the front pocket. They were gossiping and trying to indiscreetly talk about me, I wasn't dumb, I knew when people were whispering about yours truly. Can't say it bothered me too much, you learn to grow a thick skin when you're in my situation. I stepped backwards, allowing them access to the trash can, eyeing up the food that they were going to waste.

"Here, give me your trays, I'll meet you in the restroom, I'll throw everything away in one go." The dark haired girl with the glasses at the back said.

The other girls stopped, placed their trays on the nearest empty table, and sashayed off to the restrooms without even a thank you to the girl in question. She smiled awkwardly, putting all the uneaten food on one tray and continued to walk in my direction.

"Excuse me, Sir, please don't take this the wrong way, but I walk past you most morning on my way to college. I don't want to seem presumptuous but I'm guessing you're more in need of this than the trash is." She says looking down at the floor as she offered the tray to me.

So goodness to mankind still existed, and for the second time in one day, I felt like all my good fortunes had landed in my lap. Stacking the empty trays next to me on the provided shelf, she waited eagerly for me to take the remnants of half eaten meals.

I may be a proud man, it is after all one of the only things I have left, however, I'm not stupid, I'd be a fool to turn down the food that was being offered to me.

"Thank you Ma'am, you've a heart of gold." I replied, opening the top of my bag to put the food in for a later date. "You've fed a hungry man for a week with your kind gesture."

"As I said, you looked like you needed it more than the trash." She shrugged, pushing the glasses back up the bridge of her nose.

"Happy holidays Ma'am." I answered, smiling at her in appreciation for her kindness.

She smiled back at me, placed the now empty tray on top of the others and turned towards the restrooms to go meet her friends.

Stealing the last of the free heat before I exited the building, I readied myself for the nine block walk to the shelter knowing that I'd have to get a move on to get there in time. Pulling my now holey black beanie down over my ears and the collar of my jacket up to cover as much of neck as possible to keep out the chill, I threw my bag over my shoulder and faded into the background.

Rounding the last corner, I looked at the queue to see a usually long line of people already stood there waiting. Mentally counting the people as I walked to the back I realized that I may not get a bed. Seems everyone had got the same mindset as me. Everyone wants a bed at this time of the year, everyone wants that all important hot meal. I now just needed to make the decision of whether I walked the extra four blocks to the smaller, lesser known about shelter or risked my luck here.

Realizing that I didn't really have much to lose, knowing my chances of bedding down here tonight were slim, I threaded my body back into the mass of people squeezing down the small walkway and walked briskly further out of town. The four blocks didn't take as long as usual, my adrenaline and possibly the fear of spending the evening in the expected snow pushed my body that little harder.

I'd learnt how to tell whether bad weather was on the cards by looking at the clouds, they'd become somewhat of a fascination to me. I'd sit in the park and try to decipher pictures, it passed the time and it let my once very active imagination run wild again. Daring a glance at the sky, I could tell that if it didn't snow heavily overnight, it'd be snowing by the morning for sure. If I wasn't to have a place in a shelter, I needed to find a doorway that hadn't already been claimed; that or a public toilet that had enough room between the bowl and the door to be able to rest my back. As disgusting and unappealing as the second option appeared it'd actually have been my preferred choice, saying that, most public facilities were locked at night to prevent vandalization by drunk Neanderthals who didn't realize just how fucking lucky they were.

It seemed my luck had run out when I got to the shelter and saw the queue running the length of the block already. Not surprising as the doors were just about to open, and I'd wasted time by taking too long deciding to come here. It was starting to get dark and I was starting to panic about where I was gonna end up for the night.

Watching as the staff at the shelter started to turn away people I sighed and turned the 180 degrees to head back in the direction I'd just come from. As I passed each and every side road and dark back street I peered down them to see if there was a somewhere I could try and bed down for the night. If you could find a doorway you were always gonna be that little bit more protected, not only from the cold but from the police, if they saw you resting in the street against the wall they moved you on. Not a second thought in the world, they just wanted to 'clean' the street up. So many times I'd wanted to say if only it was as easy as me getting up and heading home, if only they knew how easy they had it, but no, I was respectful and I'd gather myself up and head down to the next corner and try and find somewhere else.

*****

The first place I tried was being the back of this small restaurant, one of the waitresses there, all wild red hair and the sweetest of smiles, was really nice to me. I dunno if she did it every day, but whenever I'd been there and it'd been her break she used to come out back where I was leaning against the warm wall and she'd bring me out a cup of coffee and a whatever was kicking around in the kitchen. She spoke to me like a normal person and it made me forget the shitty situation I'd been put in that had ended with me like this.

I hung out there, leaning against the tepid bricks and hoped she'd come out like usual. I dunno how long I'd been waiting there, but I knew she wasn't coming. If the truth be known, I wasn't sure if I was more disappointed that I wouldn't be getting fed or that I wouldn't be getting the human interaction I missed so dearly. I'm not afraid to admit that my life was lonely. Very few people took a second look at me, and those who did usually did so in disgust. Conversation wasn't something that came readily and I sure as hell missed it. I'm intelligent and well read but I was slowing starting to think I was losing my mind.

Using my foot as leverage I pushed myself off the wall and set down the street knowing exactly where I was heading for. There was a small alleyway that divided the street between some disused warehouses. If I couldn't manage to force the locks on one of the old doors, I'd at least be able to use the doorway itself. Picking up my step I walked the five blocks downtown and headed across the last street. It was always dingy and I only ever used this alleyway as a last resort, I feared that I'd fall into a too deep a sleep and wake up in a dumpster somewhere thoroughly damaged and hurt, I shuddered at just the thought of it.

The street light half lit the front end of the wet passage and I could decipher two shadowy outlines. It'd just be my luck that yet again somebody has beaten me to it. I was going to turn around and head back until I heard a muffled scream and some scuffling. Usually I wouldn't get involved in other people's business but the scream sounded like a girl and I'd never be able to live with myself if tomorrows warmth from the sheet of paper was the same paper that told me of the death of a girl down this same street.

Hunching myself over, I ran down the cobbled path to see a man with his hand over her mouth, his pants around his ankles and forcing her against the wall. I'm not sure where it came from but my right fist pulled back on itself and hit the guy straight across his cheekbone, the sound of cracking bone on impact was enough to make my empty stomach turn. He let her go as he fell to the floor, I'm not sure if I'd knocked him out or he was just dazed but I didn't hang around long enough to find out, grabbing the girl by her wrist, I dragged her away from him and we started to run back towards the street.

It was only when I felt we'd gone far enough to stop that I let go of her wrist and turned to look her in the face. Smudged make up was down her face in streaks, I'm presuming from the tears that were spilling from her eyes. She was dressed a little inappropriately for the weather conditions, it was freezing out and she had the tiniest of skirt and vest on with a jacket that looked like it wouldn't provide much protection from the cold. Shrugging off my own jacket, I wrapped it around her shoulders, hoping it would help to stop her going into shock.

"Ma'am? Are you ok?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"I said are you ok?"

"Yeah fine." She replied, wiping her eyes with her fingers. Remembering the napkins I had in the front pocket of my bag I fished a couple out and offered her them. She cleaned her face up as well as she could do without a mirror.

She looked me in the eye for the first time and in that moment I knew she was on some form of drugs, her eyes were wide and she had a faraway look in them.

"Why'd ya do it?"

"What stop someone from attacking you? I'd of thought that was obvious." I answered a little shocked.

"You just cost me $100 you do realize that?"

"Excuse me?"

"You just beat on one of my customers. You just cost me $100." She said so matter of fact it frankly threw me a little.

"I thought he was going to kill you."

"So did I," she sighed, "I actually thought that was it."

"Excuse my ignorance, but you sound rather disappointed that I stopped him."

"As I said, you lost me money and you stopped the one thing that I ultimately crave."

Her carefree attitude to not dying concerned me more than I wanted to admit. She looked so young; I couldn't get my head around why she'd want to put herself in a situation that could potentially kill her. I wasn't even sure why I cared, maybe because I was involved now, either way I knew I didn't want her going back there this evening.

"Would you like me to walk you home?"

She cocked her head to one side, and stared at me for what felt like forever, it was like this really intense stare too, those deep brown glazed eyes penetrating deep into my soul. I started to fidget because her gawking was making me uncomfortable.

"Oh I get it." She said licking her bottom lip, "You want like a repayment for stopping him?"

She looked around and down the empty street and pulled me by the hand down a side street. It took me a couple of seconds to realize what she was insinuating. She honestly thought I wanted something from her in return? What the hell has this world come to?

Her hand reached for the fly of my jeans as she pushed me back against the damp cold wall. This seriously couldn't be happening. I pushed her hand away with my own, a little harder than I probably should have, but there was no way I was letting the girl do that. One, it wasn't necessary and two; I really wasn't looking for some cheap thrills in a dark alley. Admittedly, I hadn't had sex in a very long time, in fact, I'd had no form of sexual contact in as long as I could remember, but whatever she had planned wasn't happening here.

"That really isn't necessary."

"But… you said… you'd walk me back… I was just saving you the journey…" She purred out at me, her hand reaching back for at my fly.

"Really, please don't. I was offering to walk you back so you didn't have to worry about bumping into your… friend."

"Are. You. For. Real?" She enunciated each word with a prod of her finger into my chest.

"Deadly. If you don't want me to walk you home then I won't. However, that, whatever it was you were planning, isn't needed. If you'd like to go your own way, I bid you good night." I said, taking my coat from her shoulders and wrapping it back around my body and placing my bag over my shoulder before turning back towards the street. I still had nowhere to spend the night and I was rapidly running out of time.

I shifted on my feet as I took a couple of seconds to decide in which direction to head. Guessing that the park was the next place I'd try, hoping I'd find a bench and I could rest on, I took the left and started to stroll along the quiet and calm street as the big white sparkling snowflakes began to drop from the heavy grey sky like pieces of confetti falling on a happy newlyweds on the church steps.

"Wait!" She called behind me, the sound of her shoes hitting the concrete pavement.

I turned around to face her as she skipped down the street in my direction. She was all over the place and I was unsure how she managed to not fall over and smash her head. When she reached my side, she wrapped her arm through mine and started to tug me in the opposite direction of where I was heading.

"You're coming back with me. You may not want what I'd usually offer… but I can offer you a couch for the night. At least let me get you a cup of coffee?"

"You usually invite strange men back to your place?" I asked without truly thinking about my question.

"No, I usually go to theirs." She said with a straight face, like it was the most normal question in the world to be asked. "But, considering you saved me, I'm pretty sure you're not gonna attack me."

As ridiculous as it sounded, it kind of made sense, and I could see where her thinking had come from, plus, the sound of a soft couch for the night was as tempted as it came. I'd be mad to decline the offer and really, what else did I have to lose?

That's how I found myself sat on the worn couch, with a mug of sweet tea and a grilled cheese sandwich, in a small but warm apartment of the girl whose name I'd still yet to ask.

It was also the moment that my life changed forever, though, not necessarily for the better.

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**Thank you for reading.... if you get a chance please let me know what you think... as always constructive criticism is welcomed...**

**Huge thanks to everyone that left a review... you guys made my day...**

**Much love**

**Pixie-Tinks x**


	3. My Names Bella

**Disclaimer: This story deals with material that may not suitable for everyone. It contains coarse language, drug use, adult themes and a host of other things. I'd also like to point out that if you hold the idealist and innocent relationship between Edward and Bella in high regard this story isn't for you. You have been warned.**

**I don't own these characters, no infringement intention. I do, however, own the plot.**

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As his hand covered my mouth I knew it could be the moment I'd waited for. I closed my eyes as the bile rose in the back of my throat. The small white tablet I'd taken a few hours previous was starting to wear off. Its effect that once left me flying free like a bird, wings spread wide as I soared above the world had turned into me feeling like a jittery mess, with the sensation of being in between heaven and hell. I wasn't on the downer yet that would have classed me as in hell and I wasn't sitting on the white fully cloud either. Nope, I really was in the moment of real life. I was on earth, just, and was dying for my next fix. Whether it was in the form of drug, drink or indeed death it needed to fucking hurry up and happen. The coldness and dampness of the evening had started to kick in and it was beyond a fucking joke that my first and only client of the evening had a thing for assault.

Honestly, as unappealing as that sounded to the average person it worked for me. I always hoped they'd take it a little too far, you know, like finish me off. The fake struggle was worth the extra $25 and honestly it was kinda better in my mind than the guys that wanted to hug and cuddle afterwards. That shit was too personal for my liking. If you wanted to get the whole 'girlfriend experience' go see someone else, I'm just not that kinda girl. Dirty alleys, up against the wall or a day or in the back of a car, that's what keeps what I'm doing real.

As his spare hand reached for his fly I let the fake tears roll down my cheeks and let out a muffled scream. He smirked and it made me shudder. This prick wanted the full works apparently and if I 'performed' well for him he said he'd make it work my while with an extra 100 bucks. A few scuffles and pushes against him, an outburst of 'please don't' and I'd be walking away with 200 bucks for 45 minutes of my time.

His pants dropped down around his ankles and I took the deep breath I needed, willing my buzz that I was currently experiencing to carry on, it just needed to last another 15 minutes. I could walk home on a downer; I couldn't do my job on one. I let out the last of my screams against his hand. The taste of dirt, tobacco and salty sweat on his skin made the already present bile mix with the saliva in the back of my throat. I prayed I didn't vomit cos it would blow my chance of the extra cash.

What happened next went in slow motion. It could have been the narcotics listening to my prayers and kicking in again, numbing me of emotion, pain and fear or it could have just been pure shock. I guess I'll never know. One minute I had this huge hand covering my mouth and pinning me against the wall then next a cold callous hand encircling my wrist and dragging me in the opposite direction. This trip was quite possible one of the strangest I'd ever had. Was I hallucinating or was this really happening? Was my rent for a week really lying on the floor in a heap as I tried to run along the cobble path in heels with a strange guy?

We ran, well he ran, I was dragged, down the street, not stopping, just running, the sound of my heels clattering against the floor. How I didn't break my angel I'll never know. The cold air was hitting my eyes, causing them to sting and water. I couldn't have complained though; our little run helped warm me up. I was jumpy as fuck though, stupid come down had started to kick in big style and I needed outta here pronto. My bed was calling, along with a pair of sweats, a hoodie and the thickest socks I had.

My apartment wasn't anything grand, in fact I'm pretty sure that even rats wouldn't live in it, it sucked that much, and to be fair, I'm not sure how they classed it as an apartment, it was like one big room, with a tiny kitchen and bathroom. A futon shoved against the far back corner was my bed and a well worn couch that was there when I'd moved in sat along the wall underneath the window. The kitchen was tiny, and bare apart from the prehistoric appliances that worked when they felt like it. Nope, sucking cock for a living was just about covering the bills and my habit, all in all my life sucked as often as I did, and for the record that was daily.

"Are you ok ma'am?" He said once we'd stopped, bringing me back down to earth.

"Huh?"

He asked me again if I was alright but the only thing I could think about was the money I'd just lost. It meant I'd have to go do it all over again the following night, when all I was hoping to do was get wasted and sleep forever.

I also didn't understand why a total stranger would get involved in somebody else's business. Who does that shit these days? So being the forward bitch I was, I asked. He looked at me like I had three heads and told me surely it was obvious. To him, maybe, to me, not so much.

I got it all wrong when I tried to thank him in my own special way. When he rejected me I didn't know if I was more shocked or offended. It was clear matey was homeless yet he turned down free head, this night was just fucking bizarre, even by my standards. Maybe I'd just become so used to constantly living in a state of hedonism I wasn't sure what real life was anymore. All I did know was that he'd gone out of his way to stop what he thought was a legitimate attack so the least I could do was offer him a bed for the night. I found it kinda ironic when he asked if I took strange men back to my apartment. When I answered honestly and said that I usually went back to theirs he just blanched at me. Don't like the answer, don't ask the question buddy.

We walked back to my apartment slowly; he wrapped his jacket around my shoulders again as the snowflakes fell around us. Had I of not been so fucking cold I'd of found it pretty weird. What was with all the chivalrous shit he was pulling tonight?

As we walked into the complex, the bulbs were blinking and the carpet smelt of wet dog. We walked up the three flights of stairs because as usual the elevator in the building was out of order. I opened the door to my shit pit apartment and he stared wide eyed like I'd just welcomed him into a palace.

"Nice digs." He said wiping his feet on the dirty mat outside my door, staring around the room.

"It's dry and it's cheap. It fulfils its purpose." I shrugged, unsure if he was mocking me or if he was genuinely impressed. "Come in. I'm outta coffee, but I do have tea. Hungry?"

He nodded his head and smiled. It kinda lit up his whole face and I smiled in return. I dunno what I was thinking but I wasn't in a rush to get my next fix quite as much as I had been before. It made a change for a guy to actually talk without wanting to jump my bones. It was, well, different.

I made him a mug of sweat tea and a grilled cheese sandwich; it was all I could rustle up outta what was in my now empty refrigerator. He picked at it, like he was trying to make it last. It was painstaking to watch him eat. Personally, between my constant high and alcohol binges food did very little for me. If I started to feel hungry I'd just take another swig of liquor until the pain was replaced with that dizzy sensation of the dancing street lights on the ceiling of the room. There'd been days when I was fascinated at the way the lights shone across the smoke stained interior like stars sparkling in the moonlight.

"You're not eating?" He asked.

"There was only enough for one."

"Here, we can share." He replied offering me what was left.

To anyone else it probably would have seemed like a kind gesture, homeless hungry dude sharing what little food he had, but to me, it just made me feel sick. I didn't do sharing, I'd known friend that shared shit and that landed with infections. Admittedly it was usually needles or unprotected sex not grilled cheese but well, why break a habit of a lifetime?

"Nah, go ahead. I ain't hungry." I lied, I was hungry but I had a bong with my name on it. I'd get baked, crash out and not have to think about stuff 'til the morning. "I'm gonna smoke. I hope it don't bother you."

He shook his head and picked at the rest of the sandwich, intermittently taking gulps of tea. Realising that to have the bong I'd have to move I settled on just a joint. I leant forward and rested my arms on the coffee table where I began rolling, sprinkling the green herb on top before licking the paper and sealing it shut. Flicking the lighter a couple of times I watched as the end burnt red and I took my first deep breath. As the smoke filled my lungs I started to relax.

_See you on the flipside life._

"In case I forgot to tell you later, spare blankets are in the box under the kitchen sink. I don't have a spare pillow." I said exhaling the pungent smoke, blowing circles into the stale air. "That's if you stay of course. Choice is yours."

I had to get that clear, I didn't care either way if he stayed or not. Offering him the couch had been a minute of madness. I kinda didn't expect him to say yes, and I don't know what had possessed me to even say it in the first place. I was trying to be nice I guess, wasn't something that I did often; coming down messed with my head and clearly that had been one of those moments.

"I'd very much appreciate your hospitality if you wouldn't mind. I'll be out of your hair first thing." He answered, taking off his hat and scarf.

I was instantly hit by the rush of copper coloured hair. He ran his hand through it making it stood up on its end all over the place. It shone and specks of gold and honey were dancing in the light. He ran his hand over his jaw and scratched at the stubble littering his skin.

"No problem. Help yourself to more tea if you want. I'm gonna get changed." I said rising off the end of the couch, grabbing my clothes on the way to the bathroom.

Sitting on the filthy seat of the toilet, I sparked up a smoke and clawed at my hair. Swigging the amber liquor in the bottle I placed it back in its home, on top of the toilet cistern, pleasant huh? That was my life for you. I was dirty inside and out. For a split second I felt ashamed that I'd let the hygiene levels get so low in my home, that maybe my guest would see. Taking another long pull from the bottle behind me, I sighed as the thick liquid burnt my throat, realizing that I didn't actually give a flying fuck what he thought of me and my standards. He lived on the streets for fuck sake, a month or two of not cleaning the bathroom wasn't gonna shock him was it?

Standing under the hot stream of water I scrubbed at my skin trying to rid myself of the latest dirty guilty feeling that had started to form in the pit of my stomach. I rubbed at my eyes removing the last of tonight's make up and scratched at my scalp until it was sore to the touch. Then, and only then, did I get out, dry myself off and get changed.

Walking out of the bathroom I noticed he was no longer sat on the couch. Hearing the clattering in the kitchen I poked my head around the door, wrapping my damp hair in a towel. He had his back to me and his hands in the sink, washing my dirty week old dishes.

"What the hell are you doing?" I snapped, because really, who the fuck goes into a strangers house and does the dishes.

He was getting too fucking comfortable in my opinion and that didn't sit well. I didn't even know his fucking name and there he was, shirt rolled up to his elbows, in dirty dishwater, like he fucking lived here.

"I was just trying to make myself useful. I apologise for stepping over the mark." He mumbled out, removing his hands from the water and wringing them dry. "Your tap leaks by the way, if you have a spanner I can fix it for you."

I don't know why but I saw red. How dare he presume I couldn't take care of it myself. He'd strolled into my life and home and was getting too familiar with my shit.

"I don't need you to fix it. I don't need anyone to fix it. I'm doing fine just by myself." I hissed.

"I wasn't suggesting you couldn't do it yourself, again, I was just trying to help." He said softly, "I see I seem to have offended you, I'm sorry. I'll leave now and get out of your way. Thank you for the tea and sandwich."

He rolled the sleeves on his shirt down and squeezed past me, picking up his jacket and hat from the back of the couch. I tapped my foot as the irrational thoughts filled my mind.

"Hey... stop... you don't have to leave." I mumbled out. "Listen, I'm just not used to people doing shit for me."

"I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I'm Edward by the way." He said holding out his hand to me.

"Pleasure." I returned, nodding my head, refusing to shake his hand.

_Seriously what's with the formal shit?_

"Are you are?"

"Whoever the fuck you want me to be." I replied with a smirk. I didn't see the need to get polite, he'd be gone tomorrow and he'd just be another face in my hazed memory.

"How am I meant to address you if you don't give me a name?" He teased, a smile creeping on his face.

"Bella, my name's Bella." I huffed.

I slumped down on the couch, unwrapping the towel from my head. Kicking my feet up onto the coffee table I patted the cushion next to me and hinted for him to take a seat.

"You can sit you know. I don't bite, well unless you pay extra." I giggled. He cocked his head to one side and studied my face. I rolled my eyes at him, "Edward, it was a joke. Gees."

"Sorry. I don't get to have much interaction with people. It's a little strange."

"Quit fucking saying sorry."

"I'm so..."

"What the fuck did I just say!" I huffed, "Anyways, what's the deal with you?"

"I'm homeless..." He stated.

"No shit Sherlock, but why?" I questioned, taking another hit of the joint I'd just rolled.

"Do we have to do this?" He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Promise me you're not on the run and I'll drop it." I shrugged. I was pretty sure he wasn't gonna murder me in my sleep.

"No, I'm not on the run. You're pretty safe to say I'll cause you no trouble or harm." He replied quietly, "Bella, may I ask why do you what you do?"

"Good money for very little work. Plus I know it'd piss my Pops off no end."

"You do it to annoy your father?" He gasped.

"Well they say he's my father, I've not seen him as my father for a very long time. He's just the guy that may or may not have shot his load whilst banging my mother."

Now, I don't know why I brain vomited all over the guy because I never spoke about my parents. The weed I was smoking must have been pretty strong for me to have opened up like that. I didn't open up; it just wasn't what I did. That was allowing people in and showing weakness. I'd built barriers for a reason. Barriers stopped people getting close.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"If you say sorry one more time, I'm gonna kick your skinny butt into next week! It's just a job anyway. It could be worse. I don't rob people, I don't break the law, I just do what I've gotta do."

"I think you'll find prostitution is a law breaking offence." He smirked.

"Meh, I just get paid for someone to get laid. I don't ask for dinner first, so he's probably still in pocket at the end of the night ya know."

It may not be logical to the average person, but it made me feel a little better about what I did. I never expected dinner, flowers or for him to even know my name. He was getting what he wanted and I was getting paid. Everyone was a winner.

"I guess when you put it like that it's half logical."

I smirked, like a full on shit eating smirk because it was the first time anyone had actually listened to why I did what I did with a half guilt-free conscience. Dude was turning out to be pretty good company, I was now baked and enjoying being able to be a normal girl for a change. I ordered him the joint but he shook his head. I stubbed it out and turned to face him, sitting crossed legged. He held his mug to his mouth and drained it. He placed the mug on top of the plate I'd given him on the coffee table before standing and picking them both up, heading back to the kitchen. I lent my head against the back of the chair and closed my eyes, enjoying the warm floaty feeling coursing through my veins.

The sound of water hit my ears followed by the clattering of china hitting the metal drainer. The cupboard door creaked as he opened it, telling me he was getting the out a blanket. He came back in with the two blankets in his arms, and asked if I minded him using the second as a pillow. Shaking my head I stood up and moved to make up my own bed as he folded the blankets into a makeshift quilt and pillow. Crawling into bed I flicked the switch to turn out the lights.

"Sweet dreams Bella." Was the last thing I heard as I entered the black oblivion of sleep.

*****

As always the dreams came. A mixture of memories of my so called parents before they become just the donors of my life and images of whatever demeaning shit I'd put myself through during the day. This was the reason I smoked a shit load of weed before bed, it helped my mind create vivid colours that made the visions less scary, almost comical at times.

Tonight was different though. Tonight they were dark and frightening. The attack I'd been paid to play the part in turned into the real deal and the guy started to get a little more physical than I was willing to take. Pushing at his chest he smirked as the back if his hand slammed against my cheek. I screamed out and jolted awake in a cold sweat; the sheet wrapped around my legs. I'd woken like this before, however, this was weird. There was a hard object I'd crashed into when I sat up. I felt a breath against my cheek and the sense of panic rose in my body as I let out a scream, flailing my arms around me.

"Shhh Bella, it was just a dream."

"Holy fucking shit. Edward are you trying to fucking kill me. You scared the life out of me. Don't go doing shit like that." I said trying to catch my breath.

"You were screaming in your sleep. I was trying wake you up." He said in reply, holding his hands up in surrender. "Are you ok?"

"Fine, just a bad dream," I mumbled climbing out of bed and heading for the bathroom.

I pulled on the light cord and waited for the room to be illuminated in a soft orange glow. Splashing my face with cold water, I then reached for the medical cabinet and yanked it open, pulling out the prescription sleeping tablets I'd bought from Demetri, my dodgy as fuck landlord come dealer. I chugged down a glass of water with two small pills and padded back to bed.

"Is there anything..."

"'Night Edward." I said cutting him off as I pulled the covers back around my frame, closing my eyes as the sedative did it job and knocked me into the empty void known as my life.

*****

I woke to the usual pounding head, in despair need of coffee and food. Sitting up I stretched and remembered I had a guest as I heard the soft snore come from the couch. It wasn't one of those annoying snores, more of a gentle purr if I had to name it. He looked peaceful, one arm thrown over his face, the other holding onto the bag he'd been carrying with him, pulling it tight to his chest. I guess he was used to having to protect it during the night wherever he usually stayed. Come to think of it, I never did ask where he stayed. Hmm, I'd have to ask when he woke.

Knowing that I had fuck all food in the place and that I'd run outta coffee, I pulled on some sweats and a hoodie, tying my hair back in a messy bun and shoved my feet in a pair of well sneakers. I closed the door behind me and headed to the street corner where I knew the convenience store would be open so I could pick up a few things.

I threw bread, coffee, milk and boxed mac' and cheese in the basket and headed for the counter, stopping to grab a jar of peanut butter and jelly off the shelf closest to the cash register. The clerk was used to seeing my sorry ass turn up at random hours of the day, both dressed like this and ready for work, he just smiled politely, took my cash and left me be. I walked briskly back to the apartment and up the stairs.

His back was turned to me as I got to the end of my corridor, directly facing my door. He was closing the door, and turned to me, stopping when he saw my presence.

"You're leaving already?" I questioned.

"I… I…"

"I got breakfast." I said pushing past him and unlocking the door. "Are you coming back in or what?"

He nodded and stepped back in behind me, nervously waiting at the entrance. It didn't escape my notice that he'd put the blankets away and that everything seemed to be in its right place. I'd been pretty trusting, just walking out without kicking his sorry ass outta the door when I left. Truth be known though, I had nothing of any value for him to take.

"I left you a note to say thank you." He said pointing to the coffee table, a napkin with some black scrawl written on it had been placed under the ashtray.

"Coffee? I've got bread too. Sit… eat…" I instructed; I was being selfish, I know. I wasn't ready to give up his company just yet.

"You're sure?"

"Just fucking do it ok!"

He dropped himself onto the couch and visibly relaxed. I moved around in the kitchen, and made coffee and toast, spreading it thick with peanut butter and jelly before thrusting it in front of him. He smiled gratefully and took the plate from me. I slouched down next to him and sparked up my first joint of the day. It was my favorite one, as the nicotine and chemicals coursed through my veins I calmed instantly, feeling completely mellow. Glugged down the coffee, not worrying about burning my tongue I studied his face as he took his time eating again.

"Ya know what Edward? If you're ever stuck for somewhere to stay, come give me a knock." I rambled out.

My hand flew over my mouth as I realized what I'd just offered. His eye lit up and he smiled widely, I couldn't take it back. I was a whore but I wasn't a bitch. It would have been like giving a kid a puppy only to take it back and say you can't have it, it's mine.

So I did the only thing I knew how to in these kinda situations. I fixed a fake smile on my face and took a heavy draw of my smoke. As the haze fogged my mind, I was grateful that I didn't have to really think about what I'd just done.

_Well done Bells, he's gonna be like the shit that won't flush… he's just gonna keep bobbing the fuck back up when you don't wanna deal with it._

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**Thanks for taking the time to read this... let me know what you thought if you get a chance. **

**Take a minute to check out the artwork from the very talent Beckyboobearbum that goes with this chapter... She hadn't read it when she drew it... It is out of this world! (Link is on my profile page)**

**Much love**

**Pixie-Tinks x**


	4. Different

**Long time no update I know, forgive me. Seems I reached a place where I found it hard to write something so dark. It seems to be back though. Please note that updates will be sporadic so if you'd like to continue with what you read please add it to your alerts.**

**Disclaimer: Ms Meyer owns the characters, I own the plot. This deals with dark and adult themes. Please turn away if you're not 18.**

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When I woke I didn't know where she was, I called her name in case she was in the bathroom, again nothing, just eerie silence. I folded up the blankets and put them back into the box she kept under the sink. Setting the cushions back into the corners of the couch I waited a couple of minutes to see if she was going to return. When she didn't I took it as my time to leave, after all, she'd put me up for the night, she'd fed me and she'd talked to me like a normal human being. She didn't seem to pity me and it made my faith in humanity swell, it had been the nicest night in a long time.

I quickly wrote her a note explaining my thanks and that I hoped she'd take care of herself in my elegant script on the back of a napkin I had in my bag. Placing it on the coffee table under the overflowing ashtray she'd favoured the previous night. I used the facilities before pulling on my jacket and walked out of the apartment. Pulling my collar up around my neck I made the most of the warmth radiating from the hallway before making sure the door was locked and turned towards the exit.

I stopped in my step as I saw her walking back towards her apartment, not sure what I was meant to do. Should I approach her or just keep my head down and mumble my thanks as I walked past. Was she expecting me to be gone already?

"You're leaving already?" She asked

"I…I…"

"I got breakfast." She said pushing past me to unlock the door and walk inside. "Are you coming back in or what?"

I nodded and stepped back into her apartment behind her, waiting at the door, unsure of what would be acceptable in this situation. "I left you a note to say thank you." I said pointing towards the napkin.

"Coffee? I've got bread too. Sit… eat…" She said to me.

"You're sure?" I replied, giving her the option to tell me to leave.

"Just fucking do it ok!" She snapped.

I dropped myself down onto the couch and tried to relax. I could hear her moving around in the kitchen, the sound of slamming drawers and the clatter of flatware against china moved through my ears. She handed me a plate of toast spread with peanut butter and jelly and a mug of coffee. She slumped down next to me and started greedily swallowing the hot fluid before lighting a cigarette. As she relaxed next to me, kicking her feet up onto the coffee table and taking a bite of her toast she turned to look at me, as if she was studying my features.

"Ya know what Edward? If you're ever stuck for somewhere to stay, come give me a knock." She muttered out before her hand flew over her mouth. It didn't escape my notice, but I didn't want to bring attention to it, I was too surprised by her offer to care if truth be known. I gave her a wide smile trying to portray my thanks with just a simple gesture instead of words and she returned my smile with her own. She took another deep drag of her smoke and closed her eyes, her head resting against the back of the sofa.

I knew I didn't want to take her offer for granted and although the company was great and the warmth was just what I needed on the coldest of nights I promised myself that I'd only come knocking in the extremist of situations.

"So where do you usually stay then?" She said exhaling smoke rings up towards the nicotine covered ceiling.

"The homeless shelters or if I can't get a bed I'll find a bench or a doorway. It's not so bad in the summer, but the winter, well, you can imagine." I trailed off, trying not to think about where I'd be staying that night if I couldn't get a bed; the snow had fallen over night and I could see the white fluffy blanket through the window.

"What are those places like?"

"Cramped, but its warm, they give you a meal and you get a bed, I can't complain." I shrugged.

"Are the people nice in there?"

"The staff are friendly I guess, though they don't really speak to you much. The other people staying are of the same unfortunately circumstances as myself, and most are out for what they can get."

"That's why you slept holding onto your bag?"

"Indeed, I have very few personal possessions, I have to take care of them; if you don't keep your wits about you you're likely to lose everything." I frowned, thinking about the amount of times I'd seen grown men cry when they'd woken to an empty bag where their worldly possessions had been stolen.

"That's fucking shit." She said. My eyes opened widely as I spun my head to face her. She looked at me, shrugged as much as to say 'what' and stubbed out her cigarette, the ash and used butts falling from the edge of the glass tray. "Come on, it is shit. Why the fuck would people do that."

"Because_ your_ worldly possessions are the next mans money for food."

She tilted her head to one side, clearly thinking about what I'd said; it was as if I could see the cogs turning in her mind as she processed our brief conversation. She brought her knees up to her chest and put her arms around them, hugging them close.

"So how do you fill your days then?"

"I people watch." I replied with a blush. There wasn't much to do when you had nowhere to do, no-one to see and no friends or family to speak of. "You?"

"Ah, I sleep during the day mostly. Or if I'm lucky sometimes I work during the day. That's very rare though. Most people don't really call for my kinda profession during the day." She chuckled darkly.

She yawned and stretched her arms above her head, rolling her neck as she did. Leaning her back into the corner of the couch she rolled onto her side and used her left arm as a pillow, pulling her legs up towards her chest, though still looking at me with a confused expression across her face.

"I'll make my move, thanks for your hospitality Bella. I'll forever be grateful." I said starting to stand.

"Don't feel you have to leave. I just... I'm well... I'm tired, I need some sleep." She said sleepily as her eyes started to droop.

It was in that instance that she showed me just how vulnerable she really was. As her breathing evened out, I stood and walked towards her bed, lifting her quilt from the unmade bed and draped it over her small frame, pushing the few tendrils of her chocolate coloured hair from her face. She sighed and moved further down onto the couch, stretching her legs out a little as she relaxed.

Picking up the ashtray from the table I walked out to the kitchen and emptied it, rinsing it under the flowing warm tap, trying desperately to be as quiet as I could as to not wake her up. I rinsed and dried our coffee cups and plates from the morning and put away the other items left to dry on the drainer. When I walked back into the living room I actually took a proper look at what was around me. She really didn't keep her home all that clean, not that it was for me to comment, she had a home at least, it wasn't for me to tell her how to keep it, but I wanted to do my part. Remembering I'd seen a few cleaning products under the sink I set to wiping the surfaces of the kitchen, humming quietly to myself as I worked.

The fresh lemon smell of the products filled my nose and reminded me of the kitchen I'd grown up in, my mother eagerly cleaning at the surfaces, wanting to have a home she was proud to call her own. It didn't take long to clean, it was only small but it looked fresh. I smiled to myself at the way it was now a kitchen she could be happy to cook in.

She started to whimper in her sleep and I walked towards her to make sure that she was ok. After the episode I'd witnessed last night it was clear that she experienced extremely bad nightmares. As the whimpers turned to full on cries I knelt down next to her and tried to wake her, calling her name quietly and shaking her carefully. I didn't want to startle her like I had previously, but I wanted to end whatever it was that was clearly causing her distress. Her eyes flew wide open and she looked around the room, breathing deeply and panting, reaching for her chest as she tried to catch her breath.

When her arms flew around my neck and pulled me close I almost lost my balance, not only was I surprised that she'd reached out for me for comfort but she'd looked almost fearful as she did it, as if she was scared of touching me. I wrapped her in my arms as I scooted closer towards her and whispered words of reassurance into her hair as her breathing pattern calmed down to a normal pace. When I felt her body relax and start to move back I released her from my embrace and rocked back on my heels, giving her the space I'm sure she was craving.

"Sorry." She whispered as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I didn't mean to do that." She rose to her feet, kicking the blanket free as she made her way to the bathroom.

The sound of the water hitting the bath told me she was showering so I boiled the kettle and made her sugary tea. My mother had always told me that sugary tea could solve anything. I wasn't a believer because, come on, if that was true I'd not be homeless would I?

She padded into the kitchen, a towel wrapped around her hair and the same clothes she'd been wearing previously, her bare feet on the cold floor. Her hand flicked at the lighter as she tried to light the smoke that was hanging precariously between her lips.

"I made you tea, I hope you don't mind. My mother used to say that it could solve anything." I rambled.

"I'd rather the stronger stuff." She smiled reaching up for the cupboard above the sink and pulling down a bottle of cheap vodka. "It helps."

As she unscrewed the lid and took a deep swig from the bottle, she wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and pulled a face as the liquid slid down her throat. Gone from her eyes was the vulnerability I'd just witnessed, only to be replaced with the vacant look she'd sported the previous night. What had just happened to the girl I'm sure was willing to let me into her head?

"What is that smell?" She said looking around, scrunching up her nose. "It smells like lemons."

"That'll be the kitchen cleaner I found under the sink, I cleaned a little whilst you were sleeping." I shrugged; a little hurt that she'd not noticed the vast improvement to her kitchen.

"I thought it looked different, I just thought it was drugs kicking in." She muttered under her breath as if she was talking to herself. "So you cleaned… again? It some kinda fetish for you boy?"

She laughed and took another drink from the alcohol, sucking the air in through her teeth as she coughed a little. I smiled at her, because in all fairness what was I meant to say to that?

"Was I out for long?"

"Maybe an hour? You're still tired?"

"Edward, I'm always tired, I'll be fine though, and I've got stuff to do today. Like, I need to do laundry. You have anything you want me to do for you?" She said looking at me expectantly. "I can wash your things whilst you take a shower, I'll throw them in the dryer and you'll be good to go.

"Surprising as it is, I'm actually enjoying your company, no offence." She said with a frown as she realised what she'd said. "It's nice to having someone treat me like a normal person. You don't expect anything from me. It's different."

I smiled at her, a true full on smile because I'd made her feel like she made me feel.

"Plus, you clean my shit pit of an apartment. You're a keeper." She said laughing.

I had to laugh too, I'd been worried that she'd think I was overstepping the unwritten mark, yet she was happy that I'd done it. Kicking off my shoes next to the couch I picked them up and placed them at the door next to where she's kicked off her sneakers this morning.

"If your offer is still there I'd love to take a shower and fresh clothes would be a godsend." I answered truthfully.

"Towels are on the rack above the bath, Just throw your clothes out the door and I'll put them in whilst you shower." She replied with a nod of the head, scooping up an armful of her clothes from the floor next to her bed. "Oh, Edward, let the water warm through for a couple of minutes otherwise it'll run cold then scolding hot before evening out."

"Thanks for the heads up," I said picking up my bag and walking towards her bathroom.

Stripping down of my clothes and opened the door ajar to see her standing there waiting for my clothes. I handed them around the door, making sure not to expose myself to her and closed it again. There was no lock on the door, well there was, but it was hanging from its fixings. Reaching up and pulling down a towel I wrapped it around my waist and ran the taps at the sink, letting the bowl fill with tepid water.

As I splashed my face with the water, using the bar of soap to lather my hands I wiped it across my jaw and cheeks and reached for the razor I'd taken out of my bag. It felt good as the blade moved against the stubble on my face. Managing to only nick my skin once, I let the water drizzle from the shower and waiting for the temperature to even out as she'd instructed. The warm water was heavenly against my skin. I cleaned and scrubbed at my skin, unsure of when I'd be able to have the privilege again. Turning off the taps I dried my hair on the towel and wrapped the towel back around my waist. I was a little uneasy going back out to see her in just a towel, but I didn't have any choice.

I opened the door and saw some sweats and a big white t shirt neatly folded and placed on the floor in front of me. Reaching down I picked them up, holding them up to me hoping that they'd fit, which by a stroke of luck it looked like they would. Pulling on the grey sweats and t shirt over my head I was grateful to see that they fitted reasonably well. They were slightly large around my waist but nothing that the drawstring wouldn't help with.

I walked to the kitchen entrance and just watched her as she loaded the dryer with my clothes and placed the next load of clothes into the washer. She was humming to herself and I had to admit it was the first time I'd seen her happy since I'd met her.

"Thanks for the clothes." I said quietly to get her attention.

"No worries, they're clean and I thought they'd fit you." She shrugged, offering me no explanation as to why she had men's clothing in her apartment, not that it was my business, but still, I was kind of inquisitive as to whether or not there was a boyfriend in her life.

She pushed past me and slumped down on the sofa, curling her legs up underneath her and reached for the papers and tobacco. Rolling a few smokes I watched to see if she always smoked weed. I'd smelt it yesterday when we'd got her, but it seemed more of an occasional thing than a constant.

"So, Edward, tell me, if you could do anything what would it be?" She asked, flicking her now curling hair over her shoulder.

I always knew what I'd wanted to do, but it was never meant to do, you'd need a degree for what I dreamed of doing and without any kind of formal education after my high school diploma I knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Honestly? I always wanted to be an architect. Ironic when you think about it."

"Ironic? No, that shit is funny. A homeless dude that wanted to design houses." She mocked and in all fairness it hurt. I'd never told anyone about that dream and the first person I did laughed at me.

The dryer sounded and I stood walking straight for her kitchen to retrieve my clothes before the hurt spilled out into public. I wasn't good at hiding my emotions and I didn't want to let them shine through here. Grabbing the warm clothes I headed straight to the bathroom, changing quickly and folding the garments she'd lent me. Stuffing my belongings that I'd left at the sink back into my bag I pushed my feet into my shoes as I walked out of the bathroom.

"You're going?"

"I am. Thanks again." I said pushing my arms roughly into of my jacket and putting the still warm beanie back onto my head.

"But…."

"Take care of yourself, Bella." I said, kissing the top of her head instinctively.

I opened the door and walked out without looking behind me, leaving behind the one girl that I thought was different.

**Thank you x**


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